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Why We Need to Stop Cheating on God With Our Boyfriends

January 10, 2016

During multiple times in my life I became attached to the men that I dated but I realized that I had committed spiritual adultery since I expected a guy to fulfill my needs and not God. I read in a woman’s devotional how lust can be like a drug once you have a taste you keep on coming back for more but are never truly satisfy. I realized that only God’s love can truly satisfy and Only God can make me complete. John 7:37-38 says that if I am thirsty I can come to Jesus and drink and if I believe in Him streams of living waters will flow from my innermost being! Jesus said those words to a woman who had many men in her life… One time I spoke with a Godly woman from my old church and her love for God inspired me to focus on my relationship with God and seek His approval and not man’s approval. God’s love just filled my heart and I just felt so free since I rededicated my life to serving Christ on a deeper level. After this women shared about how she loved her family but she missed how she could give God all her love and energy when she was single. Her story reminded me of that passion for God that I once had and she inspired me to be single and pursue God wholeheartedly.


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I rededicated my life to Christ multiple times after being distracted by the guys I dated. I loved God but I had a weakness for kissing and cute boys. I came to many realizations about Christ through my dating life. I realized that I was bought at a price and I need to pursue God’s desires and not my own desires. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says: “Ye are not your own: for ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s. When my summer romances ended I would bawl my eyes out because I grew attached to those men but I knew that my relationship with God was more important. The men I dated showed interest in God but I was too young and career driven at the time to pursue those relationships seriously. I was wise enough to realize that I was starving for attention and compromised my values since I was blinded by infatuation. The heartbreak that I faced really scared me since I kept repeating the same mistakes when it came to love.


During my time with YWAM I learned a ton about God and relationships and God really helped heal my heart at YWAM Dunham. I learned it is essential to make it a priority to spend time with God because when I neglected those times I was grumpy and hurt others. I learned that during my quiet times it is key to check my heart. What really resounded with me during my time with YWAM is that Forgiveness is the antiseptic to all wounds.



I had an opportunity to talk with one of the speakers at my school, which proved to be quite useful since it was very eye opening for me. I told the lady a bit of my story and I was told how God understands me. It even says in the bible that Words are like arrows and the speaker told me that if my earthy father was perfect he would of taken my mother aside and say in love: “you should not say those things to Sandra”. Even thought I felt unnoticed in my family what I have to say is important. As an adult child of God cut ties affirmation family receive affirmation from God.

I learned that I bent in towards men for affirmation since I did not receive much from my family. I learned that, when I tried to let men that fill the empty space then I was disappointed and bent towards food and started emotionally eating to numb the pain. I need to stand tall and depend on God and not bend one way or another but let God take all the space since only he can truly satisfy.

As an Adult child of God I can cut the ties affirmation from my family and receive all the affirmation I need from God. I prayed with the speaker and asked God to cut the emotional ties that I had with my EX and the ties I had with my family and allow God to take all the space in my life and surrender all and depend on him not on boys or emotional eating but keep my eyes fixed on God. I learned from one of our leaders in New York was to see things through Gods eyes… to see beyond the dirt and filth and treat a homeless guy like any other person.


On my mission trip I was able to see past the garbage and harshness and see the beauty of the country and the people. I was able to hold onto the good and see past the bad and my heart just so filled with love for Asia. I learned the best way to reach people is through relationships. I realized how important it is to invest in people and relationships. I am still learning to build relationships and to be willing to be vulnerable and put my heart on the line and not hide. If do hide; I will miss getting to know awesome people if I close myself in. I learned I need to spend time with God first and then he will give me the energy I need to spend time with people and to love. As an introvert I need my alone time & I am still learning to rely on God and not myself and open up my heart to him.


During my missions trip I learned God wants me to be uncomfortable so I can totally rely on him, I learned to go beyond myself not complain but chose the right attitude, I learned to listen first and not respond with my emotions and freak out, accept criticism not take it personally. It was challenging having to be submissive and die to self, receiving criticism well and also struggling with lies and trying to see the truth. What I could have improved was going the extra mile when I was tired and exhausted and take the initiative and not wait for someone else to take care of things but to put others first. What God taught me was to totally rely on him, to be willing to be uncomfortable and depend entirely on him. He also taught me about His Love for the people.


One thing that stood out to me at my Discipleship training school was how they highlighted the importance of perusing Gods Kingdom above everything and the speaker was asking us if Gods kingdom is more important than our jobs or our relationships. I wish I listened to the lecture more carefully since I thought my job and relationships where my identity but when those things failed I realized that God is what gives me a sense of identity. After trying to do things my way and falling on my face. I learned that God is what keeps me steady in the storms of life. I realized that God is all I need and it does not matter what my job status or relationship status is. What matters is your value in Gods eyes and you are precious! I went on a date with God after my mission’s trop and he was showing me how the waters ahead will be white and that I should be exited for the adventure ahead with the reassurance that I just need to hold his hand and jump in and go all the way for Christ.


YWAM changed my life and I really held on to those truths in my life but Boys and Booze where not a good combination for me when I was enjoying high heels and having for the first time in my life. I got heartbroken again and blindsided by love. God humbled me during a really tough time in my life when I was jobless and boyfreindless. One of my friends from YWAM reminded me that Jobs and boys come and go but God is forever. She really encouraged me and made me thankful for my family and friends even though my jobs and relationships where unreliable.


Even though I knew my summer love was over I continued communicating with my lover since feelings remained. I was not in a healthy place because I was trying to move on yet emotional ties remained and I was not ready to remove them yet. I felt terrible since I knew that I was leading this guy on but I knew that the relationship was over. I was miserable since I missed being in a relationship and I was extremely lonely since my relationship with God was not in a good place and I was working away from, family, friends and my home church. I was extremely vulnerable during this time but God got a hold of me thankfully.


I realized that we were both looking for love in the wrong places and I failed to look to God and point my ex to God as well. After bawling my eye’s out over this guy because I knew it was over, I recommitted my life to God, I gave him everything. One week later I get a call from the YWAM director asking if I should volunteer at the place that I did my missionary training at. I knew that I had to give God everything for him to use me. During my time at Dunham I received a lot of healing. There were a few hiccups on the way and it has been a difficult journey but I am elated to be where I am right now since I have learned so much & I am continually falling in love with God<3!


I was thinking how as a Christian I need to love and forgive but Operas words reminded me that I cannot be friends with an ex who treated me with disrespect since that is not how friends treat each other… My girlfriends counselor once said, you can only be friends with a guy if you both are not attracted to each other and I still have feeling for him so I knew it was wise to keep my distance from my ex since the feelings remained yet I knew that I could deserve better. It was a struggle but I can assure you time does heal all wounds and you will be able to love again if you let Jesus be your best friend and mend those nasty scars of heart ache. I believe insecurity was my demise since it made me dependent, devalue my worth and become jealous. I need to remember to see myself the way God sees me and remember how confidence is sexy.


As I reflect on what I learned in the past, I recognize that I need to continually go back to God and let him heal me so that I can love others. I recognize that I have intimacy issues and I have trouble opening up but even though I am an introvert I thrive when I surround myself with the positive people in my life. I also recognized how it is important to get out of bed and not sleep in and go to church for fellowship and encouragement and help spur on others in the faith I also learned the beauty of having friends that I am willing to bounce my thoughts off of and learn about myself and learn from them and I am so thankful for them and for the beauty of friendship. Its awesome that I am not alone in my struggles and I am thankful for my friends and family that have supported my during this journey called life. I used to be ashamed of my failures since I was no longer the perfect little Christian girl but I was eventually overwhelmed by God’s grace when I let God in my closed off and guarded heart. I though I would share my story since it may inspire other to see the beauty of God’s love and how you don’t have to have it all together. Your simply need to be willing to surrender your heart so that he can transform your life for the better. Being a Christian is a struggle but it wonderful since it is a challenge and exciting and sometimes scary but God’s love, joy and peace continues to overwhelm me amongst the chaos of life.


While chatting with my girlfriends, I recognized how repentance is so freeing since I will struggle with guilt if I continue to rationalize my sexual sin and I need to ask God to cut not only the emotional ties but also the sexual ties and recognize that healing does not happen overnight but that it is a journey. I suppose I was at my best when I was confident and independent but I let pride get in the way and forgot to be dependent on God for strength and give my whole heart to Christ. I also learned the importance of spiritual discipline in order to keep following Christ desires and not my own.





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