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The Brain Drain and What Can Gain by Going against the Grain by Simplifying Life in order to Live more Authentically

August 30, 2016




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Occasionally, the content online challenges me but generally the Internet has not been very beneficial for myself since I used it as distraction from my problems. Instead of trying to resolve my issue I just decided to hide from my issues by emotionally eating while watching brainless TV. I knew that what I was dong was not healthy but I did not find any healthy coping mechanisms to replace the behaviour nor did I have a barrier to prevent me from compulsively consuming food and media. However, my summer job gave me a much-needed break. Finances prevented me from paying for more data yet it was a blessing in disguise. I realized that I did not need to read inspirational quotes on Facebook or watch cute baby videos on YouTube. I was burnt out from my regular job and was glad to have the summer off, to decompress and refocus my perceptive and outlook on life.


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At my summer job, I heard a lot of people complaining about poor management but since my previous manager treated me horribly in the past, my summer job situation did not phase me. I had an outside perspective which helped me and I also had the chance to step back and reflect on my previous employment. I realized how negative I was in the past and that complaining is a waste of time. The bible says to do everything without complaining or arguing and that is a huge challenge for me. I have often heard that worry is like a rocking chair: you go back and forth yet you don’t go anywhere. I equate that truth with whining since complaining and fighting pointless battles does not bring you anywhere.


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I have come to realize that, I need to do something in order to change my situation instead of complaining about it and if change is not possible I need to adjust my attitude so that I do not injure myself with my own anger. I love the Buddha quote that says: anger is like a coal it burns you if you hold on to it. I was able to forgive my family and my boyfriends for hurting me unintentionally and I realized I was only hurting myself by hanging on to that bitterness and resentment. I need to also be able to forgive my coworkers and friends who hurt me so that I can be free of the bitterness and pain from previous negative situations that were out of my control. (After spending 30 years on earth I think I would benefit from counselling since life messes you up but you can learn and grow from the messiness life presents us. I have been avoiding things too long and I need to make my health a priority!)


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There are so many beautiful moments that we miss when we focus on the few terrible encounters that life’s presents us. We can let trials teach us if we are open to that process. I cannot change people’s minds or the dollars on my paycheck but I can be more thankful and I can be kind in order to brighten someone’s day instead of ruining someone’s day because of my bad attitude. I recognize that I need to see the glass half full so that my world can be more beautiful. Yet we also need to guard our heart and chose to control our reactions instead of letting out of control situations take hold of our minds and emotions. It is easier said than done but these are things I need to be mindful of in order to have a brighter future and become a positive influence on the lives of others that I encounter on this journey called life.


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As I look back at the unhealthy habits I have picked up as the Internet became more readily available, I think my laziness was attributed to my low moral. Technology has a way of isolating us when we need each other to survive. We need friends to brainstorm with and professionals to help us. I was venting to my roommate in a really negative way and avoided church since I was too exhausted from work. I was overwhelmed by the adult life responsibilities since I did not feel like cooking after a long day at work and wasted way too much money on takeout. I also, kept on pushing off cleaning up my room since I wanted to pursue escapism through television and receive emotional fulfillment by chatting with my boyfriend and obtain excitement by seeking drama and criticizing others with my roommate. I think my laziness was attributed to my low moral.


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I should have been happy since I had a fulltime job, an amazing roommate and wonderful boyfriend for the first time in my life but I have come to realize that work and relationships are flighty and my happiness should not be dependent on my job, my friendships or my love life. Initially my roommate and I theorized that we were extremely messy in our previous housing situation since we lived in a very toxic atmosphere but this year we worked in a toxic atmosphere and brought that negativity home by pursuing an unhealthy lifestyle in order to cope. I need to be more mindful of what I expose myself to. I believe that I need to fill my life with goodness so that I can exude greatness and kindness.


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When I was younger, I did not have to worry about cooking or groceries or bills. Life was simpler then.  I did not have to worry about juggling work stress, relationship drama and the demands of maintaining a household. Having freedom with little responsibility made me lazy.

Living in a nonjudgmental atmosphere made it feel ok to procrastinate but some have it far worse than me and have become more successful than I since they did not let obstacles overcome them nor did they let distractions get in the way of their goals. I think the internet has made us more self absorbed and less outward focused. My relationships have suffered due to my overconsumption of the media, procrastination and lack of work on my heart issues. I pushed people away due to a fear of getting hurt but I was not really living since I was living in hiding behind a screen. Technology can be a great comfort when faced with adult woe’s but too much of anything can be a bad thing. When I was younger, I would watch movies with my family and use my parent’s computer for school projects and I was happy since I played sports, hung out with friends and enjoyed the simpler things in life. I think I need to go down to the basics and cut down my Internet usage.


Yes, the Internet is fascinating but very distracting. I realized that I have lost track of my goals since I went off to Internet dreamland to escape from adult life. I also blame the media for my apathy and lack of compassion since I was more focused on trivial things online instead of important world issues. I want to see the big picture and make a bigger impact in this world instead of settling for the mundane and allowing my mind to be controlled by what I consume; instead of educating myself. I realized that I stopped daydreaming after I stopped reading and I stopped dreaming when I was faced with the stark realities of adult life. I realize that I need to keep trying instead of dying inside since you miss 100% of the shots you do not take…


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Being an adult is hard, especially when you do not have a helpmate and you have to do everything on your own. I am slightly envious of my parents since I wish I could have someone provide for me financially or cook all my meals for me. I don’t have anyone to do errands for me or help me with laundry. I am financially independent but I do not have anyone to share the load with and I can’t afford to pay for a cook, maid, personal trainer and hairstylist …yet as women I am expected to be fabulous.

Here are some of my favourite lyrics from Jenna Marbles song: “I hate Being a Grown Up”, they are vulgar, yet on pointe:

“Remember when you were a little kid you thought it would I hate being a grown up.” “No seriously where did all these fuckin dishes come from?” “Oh – you just had a baby congratulations. I looked at pictures of cats today””Law school – wow! I’m gonna go get drunk! Cause that’s the only cool thing you can do as a grown up””Mom! My laundry? Help! God damn it, I have to do all these things by myself. Don’t I? Son of a bitch”

Some individuals are simply born lucky. Some women marry rich and never have to worry about money their entire lives but I have more ambition than that. I did not grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth but I did learn the value of hard work. My parents did not pay for everything and I cannot afford to go back to school since I am expected to pay for my post secondary education myself, which is fair. I managed to save some tuition money but I don’t think I can save enough money for room and board when I go to university. Honestly, I would rather work in job that’s rewarding where I am appreciated than be miserable in a job which allows me to save a lot of money for school since my goal is not acheiving materialism. Going to school is a gamble, so is marriage but hard work does pay off. I think love is the hardest challenge of all, so is learning to love and learn from hard situations and smiling in the face of adversity. Statistics make me sad but I should not loose hope! Life is an adventure and I need to see how God can make ugly situations Beautiful.


I have enough to get by with my current job but not enough to support a family. Due to the current economy not everyone can afford to stay at home with their young children and have to work even if they wish they could be with their babies. There is a lot of pressure on working women know days since they have to hold down a job, be a parent, a wife and also fulfill the role of the housewife while the husband watches TV or hides in the man cave.

Thankfully, my boyfriend is more of an egalitarian like myself but I find that being a woman is hard due to the harsh beauty standards the media places on us. We are considered lesser than as women, if we don’t measure up which is ridiculous since your heart mind soul and strength matters the most; not, the depth of your cleavage and the breath of your behind. Some people do not see the simplicity in this and end up in miserable marriages since money and looks is all that matters and sex is viewed as a commodity unfortunately, instead of something private that should be cherished.


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Everyone over romanticizes marriage and kids but I don’t. I realize how lucky I am. I am incredibly selfish and I am happy that I don’t have to be that selfless since I am not married with kids. I am free to follow whatever I fancy without having to think twice. I am very aware about how children take away all your time and freedom. I know marriage is hard and requires a lot of communication and compromise. I am glad that I know what I am getting myself into if I do chose to have a family, since I am older and wiser.

Although, I am slightly envious of my friend’s babies and weddings; I am thankful for my freedom and I need to think seriously about what to do about it since I know that I am not ready for marriage quite yet. I have the privilege of extra time and I need to be a good steward of my time and try to make a difference instead of hiding behind a screen. I realize that, I need to confront my issues (I have many) in order to move forward. I recently found out about a place that offers free counseling in my area and I am also very thankful that I currently do not have any internet since I have more time to journal, blog, pray, workout, study and be more social since my summer job is less mentally and emotionally draining. Change can be amazing!


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Sensitivity can be a gift but it can also be our downfall or it can be our demise, depending on how we chose approach life, as naturally more emotive people. I need to start preparing myself for when I return to regular work and try not let snide comments and a lack of openness at work, affect my happiness and productivity at work and at home but instead, I want to try celebrate the small successes and seek out those positive stress relievers instead of venting and binging. I think scaling back my Internet consumption will be challenging yet worthwhile since I know it will make me a better person. The Internet is a wealth of information but is like an abyss that you can easily be lost in. The information I seek is not healthy since the purpose is to entertain and not educate but escape instead of trying to heal by addressing those difficult issues.


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